I can not handle going to bed one more night full, fat but empty.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
After a lovely dinner of Thai I decided that that's it.
I dogged my friends after stuffing my face. Ran home, wept grabbed a mug ran into the bathroom and shoved my toothbrush down my throat.
negative: I have put on so much weight.
positive: my matabilism will be so good now.
I need her to help me.
That voice?I know you have hered it as well.
She is constantly there, and let me tell you she only gets louder when you fail.
I promise you this. For me, I need this. I will do this. I need to find happiness, control too know I am "alive" able to live.
Tomorrow I am going grocery shopping.
cucumber, blueberries, water, lemons, soda water, detox kit.
any suggestions?
I will report back. I can not feel this way anymore.
2 comments:
You know, I totally envy people who can make themselves throw up. I think that I liteally have no gag reflex what so ever.
And you just have to get back on track. It is going to be good. You can reach you goals :)
That girl with the cat is so pretty!
Honestly hunger and control is the only thing that helps me not to fall apart.. but sometimes finding this state of control is so hard after weeks of screwing up :/
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